


Autumn Light

by tinycecropia



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Chanyeols a gay nerd, Domestic, M/M, also tetris attack, an entire bit about ouran, side baekxing, thank's, they have a cat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-09-01 16:21:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8630821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinycecropia/pseuds/tinycecropia
Summary: Chanyeol and Kyungsoo are renting together in their third year. With the changing season, Kyungsoo is having trouble figuring out his feelings for his openly gay roommate.





	

Kyungsoo’s third year of university had begun and he was finally starting to feel comfortable with the direction his life was headed—not that he really knew what that meant. What he _did_ know was that he was in a program that he liked, genuinely enjoying his classes, and living with his best friend.

Kyungsoo was absolutely enamoured with the house he and Chanyeol were renting. Rounded window frames held diamond-shaped panes of glass, and there was a small stained-glass rose window centered high on the front of the home, ivy clinging to the brick surrounding it. Windswept tangles of Russian sage filled out the front garden, their pale purple against the home’s yellow brick. Together they rented the first floor of the old building. Their upstairs neighbours were two sweet girls who kept very much to themselves. 

Chanyeol and Kyungsoo had moved in the summer preceding their second year, so they’d been there for just over a year, but Kyungsoo still felt lucky every time the weather was nice enough to open up the windows and let the sweet breeze blow through the house. Kyungsoo was often found doing his history readings on the porch.

It was a history class in which Kyungsoo and Chanyeol had first met, actually. History of music. The class was mostly history students like Kyungsoo, but there were a fair few music students as well, including Chanyeol. They became unlikely friends not because they were so different, but because Kyungsoo wasn’t looking to make friends. He had his group—Baekhyun, Yixing, Sehun—and was content with that. Kyungsoo had never spoken to anyone in class until Chanyeol was assigned as his partner for an activity.

After that Chanyeol sat next to Kyungsoo every class. Kyungsoo was pleasantly surprised to find they got along very well. Chanyeol would spend lectures whispering jokes; Kyungsoo would spend them trying not to laugh out loud at Chanyeol. He found himself looking forward to class so he could talk to him.

From the rainbow flag patch hand-sewn onto Chanyeol’s backpack, Kyungsoo had assumed, but Chanyeol quickly made it clear that he was gay. Kyungsoo was starting to wonder if he’d always be the only straight one of his friends. Baekhyun had been out since high school, Sehun since first year, and it was only after that one party last year that Yixing even talked about being into _anyone_ —and funnily enough, it was Baekhyun, and they’d been dating ever since.

Kyungsoo knew he’d never be able to live with Sehun, the messy kid that he is. He could probably coexist well with Yixing, but the boy was kind of a package deal now. God knew Kyungsoo couldn’t handle sharing a living space with Baekhyun. Chanyeol, though—he was good. A bit messy, sure, but he contained it in his room and never let it get to Sehun levels. Chatty, but willing to leave Kyungsoo alone when he needed to be left alone.

Kyungsoo could hardly believe how quickly he and Chanyeol had become close and the degree to which he felt comfortable around him. Even though he’d known Baekhyun for basically his whole life he still felt like there were some things they couldn’t (or simply didn’t) talk about. It wasn’t like that with Chanyeol. They could talk about anything, or say nothing at all, sitting in comfortable silence. Kyungsoo mainly liked to do his own thing and spent a lot of time in his room, but he’d almost always eat meals with Chanyeol, and spend evenings watching Chanyeol play video games on their couch.

Chanyeol was, at the moment, sprawled across this couch with his laptop. Kyungsoo padded over to him.

“Chanyeol,” Kyungsoo said. He popped his earbuds out and looked up.

“Hm? I’m busy.”

“Doing what?” Kyungsoo asked. First term had started _three days ago_ , what could Chanyeol possibly be working on?

“Playing a dating sim.”

“Oh my god,” Kyungsoo said, fondly exasperated. He should have known.

“Come look at my boyfriend. He’s a cat boy, Kyungsoo! He’s so cute.”

Kyungsoo leaned down behind Chanyeol to glance at his screen. A cutesy pastel backdrop framed a tall, thin boy sporting a frown. He had cheesy cat ears poking out of his black hair.

“He looks kind of...mean,” Kyungsoo said.

“He’s just got a cold exterior,” Chanyeol argued. “He’s really nice!”

“Uh huh,” Kyungsoo replied. He shouldn’t have been surprised—Chanyeol loved that stuff. “I was going to ask if you wanted anything from Cloud 9.”

“You’re going without me?” Chanyeol asked, finally giving his full attention to Kyungsoo. His lips were pursed into a pout.

“You said you were busy.”

“Let me get dressed and I’ll come with you,” Chanyeol said, rushing to save his game and pushing himself off of the couch.

Chanyeol emerged from his room a few minutes later wearing black skinny jeans and one of his oversized cardigans, rolled up once at the sleeves so they fell at his wrists. Kyungsoo wondered how Chanyeol even managed to find sweaters in that size. With him being so tall and broad how was it possible that his sleeves would still fall past his hands if he didn’t roll them?

They set out on the walk to their favourite coffee shop. It was hot; September was in its last throes of summer. The leaves hadn’t started changing yet but the goldenrod that bloomed at every turn made up for the lack of autumnal colours.

Cloud 9 was off campus but well worth the journey since it had the best coffee in town (in Kyungsoo’s opinion). Chanyeol insisted that coffee was too bitter for him and only ever ordered hot chocolate and pastries. They hung out at the café almost as much as they hung out at their own house. _How college of us_ , Kyungsoo thought, but he loved it anyway.

When he pushed open the door the strong and comforting smell of coffee filled his nose. He smiled. To nobody’s surprise, Chanyeol had a crush on one of the baristas, and he craned his neck in a not-so-subtle way to seek out the boy among the staff. Kyungsoo tried not to feel embarrassed but still felt his stomach squirm uncomfortably.

Chanyeol always begged Kyungsoo to make their order for them so as not to risk making a fool out of himself in front of the handsome barista. He darted towards their favourite table by the window while Kyungsoo made his way to the counter.

“Hey there. What can I get you today?” the barista in question asked.

“One latte and one hot chocolate, extra sugar, please,” Kyungsoo said quietly while avoiding eye contact like usual. It was a bit of a sacrifice to place the order for Chanyeol’s sake, considering Kyungsoo’s nerves about talking to people. But he did it anyway.

“Sure thing,” the barista said, smiling. He pulled out two cups with a flourish and scribbled the orders on them. “You know,” he began conversationally, “I can always tell which one’s for you and which is for your boyfriend.”

Kyungsoo didn’t hesitate to respond politely, as if he had the reply prepared in advance—“Oh, ha-ha, yeah”—before confusion set in, quickly followed by panic. He realized he just confirmed Chanyeol as being his boyfriend. To the barista Chanyeol had a mega-crush on. Just because he got nervous talking to strangers. 

As the barista bounced off to make their drinks Kyungsoo felt a strange thrill for just a moment before the guilt hit him. He didn’t know how (or if) to tell Chanyeol. He cursed inwardly.

After scuttling back to their table Kyungsoo slid into his seat and tried to disappear. Chanyeol grabbed his hot chocolate and began to wonder aloud what they should have for dinner.

“Hey,” Chanyeol suggested slyly, “I owe you for a couple drinks, right? If I beat you at Tetris Attack tonight will you forgive my debt?”

This was a tradition in their house. Kyungsoo had lost count of how many bets they’d wagered on Tetris Attack by now. Which was fine, because Chanyeol had not once won. Kyungsoo was inexplicably very good at the Super Nintendo game.

Kyungsoo’s brother had gotten the Super Nintendo as a Christmas gift before Kyungsoo was even born, but Kyungsoo grew up watching Seungsoo play—and being beaten by him at almost every game. Something about the puzzle game, though, just came naturally to Kyungsoo, and he inherited the SNES for this very reason; nobody used it anymore unless Kyungsoo wanted to boot up Tetris Attack. It had stayed tucked away at his parents’ house until he and Chanyeol had a certain conversation about their favourite childhood games. The next time Kyungsoo went back home he brought the SNES back with him to the apartment so he could challenge Chanyeol to a match, and destroy him.

Chanyeol vowed to beat Kyungsoo someday, but it hadn’t happened.

In the café while he waited for his drink to cool off a bit, Chanyeol was insisting that _this_ time would be different. At the moment, though, Kyungsoo was too busy thinking about his catastrophic mistake with the barista to be paying much attention.

“Hey, you okay?” Chanyeol asked, leaning down to catch Kyungsoo’s eye. “You’re not disagreeing with me about my incredible skills.”

Kyungsoo snapped out of his daze. He laughed weakly.

“I’m fine.”

Chanyeol smiled gently.

“You forgot a stirring stick,” he said, gesturing to his drink. He pushed his chair out and headed to the counter to grab the stirring stick and a packet of sugar. As if Chanyeol needed _more sugar_ in his hot chocolate.

Kyungsoo watched Chanyeol absentmindedly. He was hovering at the counter, waiting for an opening to grab what he needed, shifting his weight from one long leg to the other. Kyungsoo almost smiled, until he realized with a pang of fear that Chanyeol was leaning into the counter, talking to the handsome barista. Kyungsoo quickly turned away and started playing with the neckline of his shirt nervously, pulling it up past his chin as if he was trying to hide in it. Maybe he was. 

Chanyeol returned to his seat with a confused look on his face.

“Hot boy thinks we’re dating.”

Kyungsoo felt a wave of panic break across his chest.

“Really?” he managed to choke out.

This was it; this was the end of his life. This was where Chanyeol would explain that in his rush to correct the guy, to tell him that he and Kyungsoo were definitely _not_ dating, thank-you-very-much, he discovered that it was Kyungsoo himself who had started the rumour. And then he would be mad at Kyungsoo forever for ruining his chance with handsome-boy. Kyungsoo struggled to calm his heart rate.

When Chanyeol sighed dramatically Kyungsoo braced himself.

“I didn’t know how to correct him,” Chanyeol said. “I was all flustered. I mean, I had no chance with him anyway. I kind of just...ran away.”

“Oh. Uh...” Kyungsoo trailed off, completely unsure of what to say. He felt a little bad for not telling Chanyeol the truth, but mostly he felt such relief at being let off the hook that his fingers tingled.

And anyway, Chanyeol didn’t seem too upset. There was a bounce in his step on the walk home. Kyungsoo counted himself lucky.

**

Mid September was all confused weather and readjusting to school. Chanyeol seemed to try his luck; he would wear shorts paired with an oversized hoodie to cover his bases, and he would read a few pages of each of his assigned readings without finishing any of them. He figured he was bound to get something right.

Kyungsoo was kept suddenly very busy by his courses, and it seemed like every time he saw Chanyeol one (or both) of them had their head in a book. Chanyeol did most of his work late into the night, but shuffled out of his room to get snacks at regular intervals. Kyungsoo had early classes and so he went to sleep early. He finished his work before the sun set, taking with it the daytime heat and leaving behind cool nights.

Kyungsoo was in his room, hunched over his reading for a course on the history of infectious diseases, when he heard woeful meowing sounding from the living room.

He hurried to rescue their cat again from her self-imposed prison on top of the bookshelf. She loved to clamber up there, probably because it was the best vantage point in the room so she could watch all goings-on, but she was never able to get herself back down. Kyungsoo stood on one of their kitchen chairs and grabbed at Felicity until he finally found purchase, pulling her off the shelf and placing her gently on the floor. She rubbed against Kyungsoo’s leg gratefully before slinking off towards his bedroom.

“Hey, is Fart stuck on top of the bookshelf again?”

Kyungsoo sighed heavily. Chanyeol had popped his head out of his bedroom door. He must have heard the meowing as well.

The thing was, when Chanyeol had asked Kyungsoo wide-eyed if they could adopt a cat, Kyungsoo agreed easily. He loved cats and he missed his own, who still lived at his parents’ house. He and Chanyeol went to the nearest shelter and picked her out together. She was a fat four-year-old calico, and she was lovely. Only, Kyungsoo didn’t count on Chanyeol naming the damn cat Fart.

Kyungsoo called her Felicity instead. Guests had their choice of the two names. Yixing always used Felicity but everyone else, to Chanyeol’s delight, stuck with Fart.

“She _was_ stuck,” Kyungsoo said, “but I got her down.”

“How’d you reach?”

Kyungsoo shot a look at Chanyeol for the quip about his height—and did a double take at Chanyeol’s bright green face.

It was Face Mask Night again, apparently, one of Chanyeol’s favourite rituals. Maybe it was this meticulous routine that kept Chanyeol’s skin so soft and nice, Kyungsoo thought. He considered his own recent breakout across his cheek. It was angry-red and embarrassing, and he had always had acne-prone skin.

“Yeol?”

Chanyeol, who had emerged from his room to rummage through the kitchen for food, peeked over the edge of the fridge door.

“Yes?”

“Can I use your face mask?”

Chanyeol was thrilled. He rushed over to grab Kyungsoo’s hand and drag him towards the bathroom.

“If I had _known_ you wanted to, I would have asked ages ago!” Chanyeol enthused. “This is great. This is a bonding experience.”

Kyungsoo laughed. He hadn’t expected so much excitement. Facing his own reflection in the bathroom mirror, Kyungsoo plucked his glasses from the bridge of his nose and placed them on the counter before smearing the thick green mask onto his skin. He kept it up until Chanyeol nodded his approval.

“Alright, 15 minutes,” Chanyeol declared.

“Is it supposed to...tingle?”

“Yeah, don’t worry.”

The two of them returned to the living room. Chanyeol plopped down on the couch and crossed his legs. He was wearing his favourite pair of shorts again.

Chanyeol loved to wear these tiny shorts around the apartment—the kind that brought to mind 1970s basketball players or pop-punk bands from 2008. He always paired them with a big sweater. It was his signature look when he was at home. With the changing weather came Chanyeol complaining about being cold, and Kyungsoo shooting pointed glances at his exposed legs, teasing him:

“If you just put on pants you wouldn’t have to bundle up,” he would say as Chanyeol would shuffle into the living room with all 7 Miles Of Leg out and a big blanket wrapped around his torso.

“Well, I don’t want to put on pants.”

“Uh huh,” Kyungsoo would reply.

(Then again, if Kyungsoo had legs like that he’d wear short shorts too. He always caught himself admiring Chanyeol’s legs.)

The moment Kyungsoo sat down on the couch Felicity hopped up on him. She seemed to favour Kyungsoo’s lap, probably because he was less bony than Chanyeol. She tried to crawl up Kyungsoo’s chest and her weight forced the air out of his lungs. Chanyeol giggled at Kyungsoo spluttering under their cat. In her attempt to get comfortable, the cat’s tail smacked Kyungsoo in the face and caused green mask to stick to her fur.

“ _Felicity._ ”

Chanyeol did not try to help. He just laughed.

**  
September was coming to a close faster than Kyungsoo had anticipated—as always, his assignments snuck up on him. The leaves were finally falling. The ivy that climbed up the front of their house was turning bright scarlet. Chanyeol looked wistfully at the leaves and told Kyungsoo he wanted to dye his hair a matching shade of red. Kyungsoo agreed to help him bleach and dye it when they had the time, even though he could already tell it would be an ordeal.

It was a beautiful afternoon, all warm sunbeams and cool breezes. Kyungsoo smiled to himself on his walk home from class. He was still smiling when he answered a phone call from Chanyeol, but his smile fell at Chanyeol’s tone.

“My life is a fucking tragedy,” Chanyeol said sadly, and Kyungsoo furrowed his brows.

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

The “fucking tragedy” was that Chanyeol had asked out the guy he’d been eyeing in a few of his classes (Kyungsoo had seen his entire Instagram account, courtesy of Chanyeol). The boy had said no, though. Because he was straight.

“Just hang in there,” Kyungsoo said gently, “I’ll be home in ten minutes.”

Chanyeol sniffled before saying goodbye. 

Much like everything else about him, Chanyeol’s feelings were Big. He felt things a lot, and he felt 'em hard, and Kyungsoo knew because Chanyeol told him all about every single one of them. He certainly meant no harm. Kyungsoo didn’t mind listening at all. If he could offer a little comfort then he was glad. When Chanyeol was happy it was infectious. More importantly, Kyungsoo cared a lot about Chanyeol and wanted him to be happy for his own sake.

“I liked him a lot,” Chanyeol lamented once Kyungsoo had arrived home. He was using Kyungsoo’s lap as a pillow and letting his socked feet hang over the opposite end of the couch. Kyungsoo was softly patting Chanyeol’s head.

“I know you did. I’m sorry.”

“I’m so embarrassed!” Chanyeol whined.

“It’s not your fault. I thought he was gay, too.”

“Well he _wasn’t._ ”

Kyungsoo nodded sympathetically.

As much as Kyungsoo didn’t want to see Chanyeol upset he couldn’t help noticing a smug satisfaction purring in his chest. It wasn’t the first time. He wondered why; did he want Chanyeol to be single so that he wouldn’t be the only one? Was he worried Chanyeol would spend less time with him? It made him feel like a jerk.

Chanyeol kept making sad little noises. Kyungsoo cast around for something comforting to say.

“At least he wasn’t an asshole about it, right?”

“But that makes it worse,” Chanyeol whined, turning his head towards Kyungsoo. “If he was an asshole then it would be easy to get over him.”

“Ah, don’t wish that treatment upon yourself. You didn’t do anything wrong, and it’s okay to be upset. I know it sucks.”

“ _It sucks_ ,” Chanyeol echoed, muffled from how his face was pressed into Kyungsoo’s shirt. 

“It won’t suck forever.”

Variations of this conversation had occurred all too many times since Kyungsoo had met  
Chanyeol. It wasn’t that Kyungsoo didn’t want to help—of course it wasn’t. Chanyeol just had shit luck when it came to guys. But Kyungsoo had a small arsenal of things that he knew would help cheer Chanyeol up.

“You wanna watch a rom-com?” he suggested.

Chanyeol took a big, shaky breath against Kyungsoo’s shirt before nodding.

As soon as Chanyeol sat up, Felicity jumped delicately onto the couch and padded over to his lap, curling up and beginning to purr loudly. Chanyeol pet her head.

“You’re both so good to me,” he said tearfully.

“Oh, Yeol,” Kyungsoo murmured. He reached up to pet Chanyeol’s head just like Chanyeol was petting the cat’s.

While the three of them sat watching a movie Chanyeol had picked out, Kyungsoo thought about how much of a hopeless romantic Chanyeol was. He just wanted to let people into his big heart. Kyungsoo smiled to himself when he snuck a glance at Chanyeol and saw him shoveling popcorn into his mouth.

He’d be okay.

**  
They were less than a month into the school year, but Kyungsoo was already exhausted. He had started taking afternoon naps just to make it through the evening. He was lying on his stomach, face smushed into the soft material of the couch, when felt the cushion dip a bit and he cracked one eye open.

“Hey, Felicity,” he mumbled.

She meowed back at him. Kyungsoo braced himself as she placed a tentative paw on his shoulder blade, and when she decided it was safe she hopped up onto his back. He groaned under her weight which was concentrated in the four pressure points of her tiny feet.

“Is this supposed to be a massage?” he asked the cat. She walked along his back until she found the perfect place to settle down. That place ended up being half on his lower back and half on his butt.

“How is that comfortable?” he asked her.

Kyungsoo hadn’t noticed that Chanyeol was leaning against the doorframe of his bedroom, watching him, until he laughed.

“That’s so cute,” Chanyeol said, startling Kyungsoo. “She loves you.”

“Oh! I didn’t...know you were there.”

“I already know you talk to the cat out loud. Don’t worry.”

Kyungsoo made a muffled noise. He lifted his head to get a glimpse of Chanyeol, who laughed.

“You’ve got sleep lines on your face, from the couch.”

“Ah, leave me alone, I’m just trying to nap,” Kyungsoo whined.

The next thing he knew, Chanyeol’s weight was on top of him. He had climbed right onto Kyungsoo’s back like an oversized koala. Felicity startled at the suddenness of Chanyeol’s movement, and she jumped up and scampered away, digging her claws into Kyungsoo’s ass as she went.

“ _Chanyeol_ ,” Kyungsoo groaned. Chanyeol’s boney knees were digging into his kidneys. “You’re crushing me. And you scared Felicity.”

Chanyeol giggled and readjusted his weight, mercifully relieving the pressure on Kyungsoo’s back. He stretched his body out to its full impressive length and lined it up as best he could with Kyungsoo’s, until he was just laying face-down directly on top of him. He was trying to disturb Kyungsoo’s nap, and it was working. But his weight was strangely comforting.

“You suck,” Kyungsoo said. He paused for a moment before continuing. “Stay here, though.”

Chanyeol misunderstood and moved to lie beside Kyungsoo, but Kyungsoo stopped him.

“No, stay on top of me. It’s nice.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay,” Chanyeol said quietly. He tucked his nose into the side of Kyungsoo’s neck.

“Mm, that tickles.”

“Sorry,” Chanyeol mumbled, and shifted an inch. His breath still tickled Kyungsoo’s ear, but it was manageable.

The two of them ended up sleeping for almost an hour, tucked against each other, and only stirred when Kyungsoo’s phone rang shrilly. He reached aimlessly towards the sound, managed to find the phone without actually looking at it, and brought it to his ear.

“Hello?”

“Hey, when should we come over?”

“Baekhyun, I’m sleeping.”

“It’s seven p.m.?”

Kyungsoo groaned and tried to stretch. Chanyeol had shifted while they slept and was now pressed against Kyungsoo’s side.

“Yeah, okay, I’m up,” Kyungsoo said while he rubbed his eyes blearily. “You guys can come now.”

“Alright, we’ll be right there.”

Kyungsoo let his hand fall away from his face until it was hanging limply off the edge of the couch, holding his phone a few inches from the ground. Chanyeol stretched his legs and made a small, sleepy sound before throwing an arm over Kyungsoo’s waist.

“G’morning.”

“It’s seven p.m.,” Kyungsoo said, echoing Baekhyun’s words.

Half an hour later, when everyone was lounging around their living room, Chanyeol and Yixing were engrossed in music talk. Kyungsoo couldn’t have followed if he had wanted to. He was about to say something to Baekhyun, but he noticed that Baekhyun was watching Yixing with an adoring look. A lost cause. Kyungsoo tucked his legs underneath himself and leaned into Chanyeol’s shoulder.

He was jostled when Chanyeol moved to grab the acoustic guitar from its stand by the television, explaining something about a composition he was working on to Yixing, who nodded along. Chanyeol’s demonstration evolved quickly into a tiny jam session. Yixing grabbed Chanyeol’s electric from his room and harmonized with his playing. The two of them took turns leading a warm melody and Baekhyun, never one to miss an opportunity to sing, ad-libbed expertly.

Sehun had his eyes closed and was sporting a lazy smile, sprawled out on the area rug. The boy was so _tall_ , him and Chanyeol both. Their resident giants. Kyungsoo always told himself (and Chanyeol) that he wouldn’t _seem_ so short if he wasn’t being compared to the two of them. Chanyeol laughed and dismissed it.

“I love having all these talented friends,” Sehun said suddenly, dreamily, from his spot on the floor. Kyungsoo smiled at their youngest friend’s sweetness.

“You’ve got talent too, Sehun,” Baekhyun said brightly. “You’re the best at whining.”

“Wow, never mind, I take it back. Baekhyun’s not my friend anymore.”

Kyungsoo leaned over Chanyeol’s lap to smack Baekhyun on the arm, and the tiny boy yelled dramatically.

“I didn’t mean it was a _bad_ thing,” he said. It wasn’t very convincing.

“Kiss it better,” Sehun insisted from the floor. Baekhyun, along with everyone else, looked confused. Yixing looked especially confused. That might have been his trademark, though.

“It’s an ego wound,” Baekhyun said. “What am I supposed to kiss?”  
Sehun pointed at his forehead. He waited patiently while Baekhyun pushed himself out of his seat (with some effort), knelt down, and pressed a kiss to Sehun’s forehead. He pet Sehun’s hair sweetly for extra measure. Sehun smiled, satisfied. 

“Thank you. You have to be nice to me, I’m the baby,” Sehun said matter-of-factly.

“Bouncing baby boy,” Baekhyun cooed. Chanyeol mimed gagging to Kyungsoo, who laughed. 

This was a mistake. Baekhyun’s attention was drawn by Kyungsoo’s laughter.

“Kyungsoo, _you_ should sing,” he commanded. Kyungsoo stopped laughing.

“I don’t really, um, do that,” he protested weakly. He did like to sing, but only when he was alone. Sehun had rolled onto his stomach and was looking up at Kyungsoo hopefully.

“Come on, hyung, your voice is amazing.”

Chanyeol, who had been quiet for a bit, suddenly piped up: “Please, Kyungsoo? I’ve never _really_ heard you sing except in the shower.”

Kyungsoo immediately went red. He had figured the bathroom was far from soundproof, but Chanyeol had never actually _said_ that he overheard Kyungsoo’s singing. He was flustered.

“N— _no_ ,” he stuttered. But Chanyeol was looking at him with uncontained excitement and a toothy grin. Kyungsoo squirmed under everybody’s combined gaze. He sighed.

“Fine, okay.”

Everyone cheered. And really, Kyungsoo couldn’t bring himself to regret his decision; as he sang along to the playing of the two guitarists he noticed Chanyeol looking at him bright-eyed. Kyungsoo ducked his head bashfully. Chanyeol fawned over his voice all night and Kyungsoo was embarrassed but undeniably pleased by the attention. 

He surprised himself by thinking, just before he nodded off to sleep, about the way Chanyeol had looked at him while he sang, and he swelled with pride at being able to impress the music major.

**

Kyungsoo arrived home from class on the last day of September, a Friday, dripping wet. He shut the door heavily against the rain. His nose was running from the chill outside and he sniffed as he shrugged off his raincoat, hanging it beside the door. He wiped rain from his cheeks and the tip of his nose and stepped out of damp shoes. He needed to warm up.

As soon as he walked in he could smell that Chanyeol was having a bath. Chanyeol had a soft spot for bath bombs and the scent truly traveled throughout the entire floor. Most of the time he didn’t wash out the bathtub afterward and left trails of gold or silver sparkles across the porcelain, but Kyungsoo didn’t mind. He exclusively showered so he wasn’t at risk of getting sparkled. Plus, he liked how nice Chanyeol smelled after the bath.  
Speak of the devil: Chanyeol opened the bathroom door, already wearing his shorts and a white t-shirt, towelling off his hair. The perfumed steam followed him. Noticing Kyungsoo dropping his backpack by the couch, he greeted him.

“Hey, how was class?”

“Long,” Kyungsoo replied. It had been two dry lectures back to back, both three hours long. Kyungsoo wanted to sleep for enough years to make up for his 6 hours of work. He dropped onto the couch and groaned.

Chanyeol sat beside Kyungsoo, tucking his long legs under himself, and tossed his damp towel onto the coffee table. Kyungsoo would’ve scolded him for it if he weren’t so tired. Instead he took a deep breath of Chanyeol’s scent, something deep and spicy.

“You smell great,” Kyungsoo muttered, his eyes closed. Chanyeol giggled.

“I knew you’d like this one,” he replied. “It’s got oakmoss.”

“What?”

“It smells earthy,” Chanyeol explained. “You like earthy.”

“Do I?” Kyungsoo wondered aloud.

“Yep.”

Well, Chanyeol would know more than Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo leaned into him and threw an arm over his shoulder, pulling him into a hug. Chanyeol responded eagerly as usual. Kyungsoo experienced a heady feeling as he inhaled against Chanyeol’s neck, a deep base satisfaction. Chanyeol was so warm.

“D’you have stuff to do?” Kyungsoo asked quietly. Chanyeol hummed.

“Yeah. I’ve got that essay to work on.”

“Me too,” Kyungsoo replied. “Can we just stay here for a bit though? I need a break.” Chanyeol huffed a laugh into Kyungsoo’s hair.

“Yeah, sure.”

Kyungsoo sighed against Chanyeol’s neck and scooted closer to his warmth.

**  
Since the next day marked the beginning of October (which Baekhyun happily called “Halloween month”), Chanyeol and Kyungsoo threw on their jackets to head out to the local pumpkin patch with everyone.

By their front door Kyungsoo laced up his combat boots for the first time that year. They felt worn and familiar, and it was comforting. Autumn was Kyungsoo’s favourite season. Chanyeol eyed Kyungsoo’s boots from his perch on the bench by their front door—he had spaced out midway through slipping on a shoe and didn’t seem to notice that he was missing his foot entirely. The shoe hovered to the right of his foot. Kyungsoo gave him a questioning look.

“What’s up?”

Chanyeol looked up at him, flustered, then down to his own foot, still not wearing his shoe. He laughed.

“Nothing, sorry.”

When he successfully got both shoes on Kyungsoo gave him a teasing applause. Chanyeol shoved Kyungsoo playfully and then threw his arm around Kyungsoo’s shoulder to walk him out to the car.

Yixing happened to be their only friend with a car, but he drove so cautiously it was almost worth it to take the bus instead. Kyungsoo was squeezed in between Chanyeol and Sehun in the back  
seat. Sehun spent the drive whining for Yixing to speed up just a little. Yixing kept denying, chattering about road safety, his voice rising in pitch to emphasize his point. At least his music selection was good.

By the time the gang arrived at the pumpkin patch, finally (and, Yixing insisted, “in one piece”) it had started to drizzle. Water collected in the uneven dirt and created mud puddles. Kyungsoo pulled his jacket tighter around him at the bite in the air. His ears perked up when he heard Baekhyun say his name:

“What’s really stopping me from throwing this pile of mud at Kyungsoo, though?” he asked Yixing conspiratorially.

“I swear to god, Baekhyun—” Kyungsoo started, but Chanyeol was already stepping between him and Baekhyun, offering his protection. When he looked back at Kyungsoo for approval, grinning proudly, Kyungsoo felt warm.

He stuck close to Chanyeol while they searched for the perfect pumpkin. Kyungsoo meticulously picked up and examined each promising candidate. Chanyeol just picked the first one he saw.

“He’s handsome, see,” Chanyeol said to Yixing while showing off his tall and lopsided pumpkin. “He deserves a home.” Yixing nodded politely.

When Kyungsoo decided on a small round pumpkin Sehun snickered.

“Hey, guys, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo’s pumpkins look like them,” he said.

Kyungsoo frowned at the implication that he was short and round. He smiled, though, when Chanyeol slung his arm around him and pushed their two pumpkins together.

After one more slow ride in Yixing’s car they arrived back at Kyungsoo and Chanyeol’s house, ditched their extremely muddy shoes at the front door, and set to work carving their pumpkins. Baekhyun and Sehun both refused to gut the pumpkins. Sehun kept wrinkling his nose at the growing pile of seeds and gunk in the middle of the floor. Kyungsoo motioned for Chanyeol to lean closer, as if he was going to share a secret, but he stage-whispered instead.

“What’s stopping me from throwing these pumpkin guts at Baekhyun?”

Chanyeol collapsed in a fit of giggles while Baekhyun panicked.

Yixing had to talk Baekhyun out of carving a dick in his pumpkin (“what if kids come to the door!”) and by the end of the night Baekhyun had managed to carve the ugliest jack-o-lantern Kyungsoo had ever seen. Pieces of pumpkin were pinned in place with toothpicks where Baekhyun had gotten a little overzealous and chopped entire sections off. Yixing ended up with a well-executed and downright cute sheep carved into his pumpkin. Chanyeol carefully carved the logo to some video game he’d been playing recently, and Kyungsoo stuck with a classic jack-o-lantern face.

“That’s so boring, Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun said.

“He’s right,” Sehun agreed loudly.

“Well yours is boring too,” Baekhyun replied, pointing to Sehun’s pumpkin in which he had simply carved the word “HEY”.

“Well at least mine isn’t a disaster.” Sehun gestured to the general mess of Baekhyun’s pumpkin.

“Fuck you, this is art.”

Yixing wrapped his arms around Baekhyun from behind and hooked his chin over his shoulder.

“I think you did a good job, Baekhyunnie.”

Despite this blatant lie, Baekhyun kissed Yixing on the temple and smugly thanked him.

At some point Felicity wandered over to the pile of slimy pumpkin seeds and started licking at them. Kyungsoo shooed her gently away before she could actually swallow anything, and then started to clean up the mess. Felicity’s disappointment at being denied the snack led her to look for attention around the room, meowing loudly. Yixing contented himself with scratching the cat’s head—she climbed into his lap and began to purr.

“Uh, guys?” Baekhyun asked the room suddenly. “How long does it take a pumpkin to rot?"

Everyone was silent.There was a great rush to get phones out. Chanyeol was the quickest, and began reading the search result out loud:

“It says a month—” but Sehun cut him off.

“That’s for an uncarved one. It says jack o lanterns have a week, max.”

There was another beat of silence before Chanyeol spoke.

“We’re...stupid.”

In the midst of everyone’s moping about their doomed pumpkins, Baekhyun did find a way to cheer himself up. He threw himself into documenting Sehun’s disappointment and sending the videos to everyone he knew. Sehun had slowly lowered himself to the floor and had started to groan, muttering something about hubris.

The night ended on a high note, though, when Baekhyun slipped on his shoe to find a single pumpkin seed in there. He yelled that Kyungsoo was to blame.

“You know I hate them! You did this on purpose, to spite me!”

Kyungsoo insisted that it was the cat, and he promised he had nothing to do with it. When Baekhyun had left, though, Kyungsoo let Chanyeol in on the secret: it was, of course, Kyungsoo that put the seed in Baekhyun’s shoe. Baekhyun’s anger was entirely worth enduring just to see Chanyeol laugh.

**

Chanyeol and Kyungsoo’s carved pumpkins sat on the porch the next day when Baekhyun pulled up. He announced his arrival by throwing open the door and promptly reminding Chanyeol that the pumpkins were rotting as they spoke. Chanyeol pouted intensely.

“That’s what we get for trying to be seasonal,” Baekhyun said solemnly.

He hadn’t come over to remind Chanyeol of his dying pumpkin, though. He had come to play video games and get drunk. Kyungsoo had technically opted out, but since it was happening right in his very own living room he was still somehow involved. He had just planned to stay in his room doing his history reading. Baekhyun, as per usual, managed to convince him to hang out with them for a bit.

When Kyungsoo ducked out to go to the bathroom Baekhyun was in the middle of explaining how he had bought a “baby on board” sticker and stuck it onto Sehun’s laptop as a joke, and Chanyeol was laughing even louder than usual, slurring his responses a touch. That was how Kyungsoo could tell Chanyeol was a bit drunk. He could tell that he himself was also more than a bit drunk by the way he stumbled down the hallway.

Kyungsoo was thinking about the first time he introduced Baekhyun to Chanyeol. Chanyeol had actually had a crush on Baekhyun back then. It was strange to think about in retrospect. Kyungsoo never thought they suited each other; at least, at the time, Baekhyun was happier with a variety of casual relationships, whereas Chanyeol was looking for something serious. Kyungsoo hadn’t wanted Chanyeol to get in too deep. Kyungsoo had brought it up to Baekhyun and he had been surprised.

“He likes _me_?” he had said. “Well, he’s a sweet boy, but I don’t know. I thought he was into you.”  
Kyungsoo had furrowed his brows. “Really?”

“Yeah. I felt sorry for him.”

“Hey—” Kyungsoo had begun, believing that Baekhyun was ragging on him like usual, but Baekhyun cut him off.

“I’m not _insulting_ you. I just didn’t want him to pine over a straight guy. Believe me, it sucks.”

“Oh,” Kyungsoo said simply. He couldn’t relate. Maybe Baekhyun could tell better, but Kyungsoo had never noticed Chanyeol flirting with him, or anything. Anyway, the whole thing worked itself out quick enough when Chanyeol realized he wasn’t really into Baekhyun as more than a friend.

In the bathroom Kyungsoo spent a moment looking at his flushed cheeks in the mirror. He felt good. Everyone was in high spirits that night. Chanyeol looked good, too, all wrapped in his big cardigan. He was probably warm. Kyungsoo decided to hug him when he returned to the living room. 

When Kyungsoo did re-enter, though, he thought Chanyeol was crying. He was worried for a moment before he realized Chanyeol was only whining to Baekhyun. His head was buried in Baekhyun’s lap, and Kyungsoo felt a small annoying pang of an unidentifiable feeling.

“I just want to kiss a boy, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol whined, and the feeling in Kyungsoo’s gut squirmed.

“I’ll kiss you,” Baekhyun offered easily.

“Not you.”

“Well fuck, dude,” Baekhyun said with a laugh.

“No, I mean,” Chanyeol started, wiggling in Baekhyun’s lap. “I want to kiss a boy but also hold his hand, and date him, and be in love with him.”

“You’re so gay,” Baekhyun said with a giggle.

“ _I know_ ,” Chanyeol replied woefully.

Kyungsoo had an overwhelming feeling that he was overhearing something that wasn’t meant for him, even though that was silly. Chanyeol talked about his (lack of a) love life all the time. Kyungsoo imagined Chanyeol with some guy—tall, probably, a tall handsome guy. Holding hands. Kissing. Kyungsoo thought about how Chanyeol would probably bring the guy to their house. That’s what people did, right? Invite their boyfriends over? Kyungsoo’s chest felt heavy, and the feeling was familiar.

This was when Kyungsoo had what he could only call an epiphany: _he_ wanted to be the only guy Chanyeol was taking home.

It was the last thing Kyungsoo could remember thinking that night, because he promptly passed out on the couch.

**

Campus was sleepy when Kyungsoo walked to his morning class. His head was pounding with his hangover. It was chilly, and Kyungsoo had to wear his denim jacket even though he’d have it slung over his arm instead by noon when it warmed up. He had a small pin on the jacket’s left breast pocket: a rilakkuma in a chef’s hat. Part of a birthday gift from Chanyeol, but wearing it was more like a gift _to_ Chanyeol, if Kyungsoo was honest. Chanyeol had wanted to match, though. His own pin featured rilakkuma lounging on a stack of pancakes (“this one’s me, see, it eats a lot. That one’s you because it can cook the pancakes that mine eats.”)

Everything kept coming back to Chanyeol. It felt like there hadn’t been a moment since the previous night when Kyungsoo _wasn’t_ thinking about his roommate. Over the next week he thought about Chanyeol so much he could practically feel the tracks laid down from following the same train of thought so often.

Kyungsoo hadn’t been interested in dating in his two years at college. He kept to himself most of the time, anyway. He always just felt like he didn’t have the time. But Chanyeol...well, he always had time for Chanyeol. With his loud enthusiasm and his kind soul and his pretty legs. Kyungsoo always had time to eat with Chanyeol, to watch a movie with him even when he was stressed about studying, to laugh with him. What would be different if they were dating—except for the kissing?

And, yeah. Kyungsoo wanted the kissing.

He’d never known someone as well as he knew Chanyeol. He had never felt comfortable around someone in the same way, not even Baekhyun. In the past when Kyungsoo thought of dating he would be anxious about getting to know someone well enough to feel half as comfortable as he felt with Chanyeol.

And it wasn’t like Kyungsoo had never thought about his sexuality before—not when he so rarely even interacted with straight people anymore—but he had still been oblivious enough to miss what was right in front of him. He laughed to himself quietly; he had thought of himself as perceptive.

Now he noticed. He knew that the weird feeling he got when Chanyeol talked about other boys was jealousy—of course it was. He noticed the way Chanyeol’s smile made his chest feel tight. He caught the hot tug in his stomach when Chanyeol walked around the house in his shorts. He certainly couldn’t pretend not to notice when he jerked off thinking about long legs and a familiar smile, that same mouth kissing down Kyungsoo’s chest.

He was constantly distracted in class, daydreaming. He scribbled over the doodles of familiar-looking lips that made their way into his notes. He had to concentrate on slowing his heartbeat when Chanyeol rested his head on Kyungsoo’s chest, because he was scared Chanyeol would notice.

He was just left with one question: what should he do about it?

Kyungsoo was very good at not-doing-things. He could avoid his homework like a professional. He could put off addressing a problem until the cows came home. He was very confident in his ability to sit quietly while he let things resolve themselves; because of this, Kyungsoo stayed safe without having taken the risks. This was why he imagined he could simply avoid ever confronting Chanyeol about his newfound feelings.

He quickly realized he was wrong. Perhaps it would have been one thing if Kyungsoo had known all along that he liked Chanyeol, and if he was able to observe how his feelings grew and changed. It was much harder to realize all at once that he was in too deep. In retrospect, it seemed like every interaction that he had ever had with Chanyeol was imbued with this new, secondary layer of meaning, and Kyungsoo simply didn’t know how to interact _platonically_ anymore.

When Chanyeol would let his head drop down onto Kyungsoo’s shoulder while they sat together Kyungsoo became so conscious of his own breathing that he had to control it manually. Every time Chanyeol casually intertwined their fingers Kyungsoo’s hands started sweating more than they had in his entire life combined.

“Hey Kyungsoo?” Chanyeol called from the kitchen, about a week after Kyungsoo’s Realization. Kyungsoo scrambled to set his face into a neutral expression. He felt like the muscles in his face had forgotten how to do that, recently.

“Yeah?”

“You left your wallet...in the fridge?”

“Did I? Fuck.” Kyungsoo ran his fingers through his short-cropped hair. He felt like a goddamn mess.

“You’ve been kind of distracted. Big project?”

“Uh, yeah. I’m all over the place.”

Chanyeol padded over to him and placed (what was intended to be) a comforting hand on Kyungsoo’s neck. Kyungsoo felt his face heat up.

“If you need to take a break,” Chanyeol offered, “let me know. I’ll teach you how to play Pokémon, ‘cause I’m doing a nuzlocke run right now.”

“...What?”

Chanyeol laughed. “Don’t worry about it. Just take a break if you need to, okay?”

“You know I’m more than capable of taking breaks,” Kyungsoo said, which was true.

“I meant if you want to talk. I’m here.”

And that was the thing, Kyungsoo thought. Talking to Chanyeol. It was a good idea. The thought of feeling so vulnerable scared Kyungsoo, but feeling overwhelmed like he had been wasn’t working out for him. Not only did he seem physically incapable of holding these feelings in, he simply didn’t _want_ to. For the first time in a very long time Kyungsoo wanted to be active instead of passive. He wanted to act on his feelings. He wanted to tell Chanyeol—it was _essential_ that he tell Chanyeol.

Which was scary to think about as well.

**

Chanyeol had never dyed his hair before. Kyungsoo had never dyed anybody’s hair, either, but Chanyeol trusted him for some reason. Kyungsoo applied the bleach to Chanyeol’s scalp diligently and was careful not to miss any spots. Chanyeol started complaining immediately.

“It’s _so itchy_ ,” he whined. His eyes were watering. “Can you just...scratch it a bit?”

“No.”

“Why not!”

“I don’t want to irritate your scalp.”

“This is going to be the death of me,” Chanyeol said so gravely that it startled a laugh out of Kyungsoo, who had just finished the final section of hair. He slapped a shower cap over Chanyeol’s bleach-covered head and patted it for good measure.

“Alright, we just have to wait for it to lighten enough. You have to promise you’ll tell me if it starts to hurt at all. Okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Chanyeol couldn’t sit still no matter how hard he tried. Which wasn’t unusual, actually, but now he had a reason to fidget. Kyungsoo felt so sorry for Chanyeol as he squirmed under the bleach that he did end up gently massaging Chanyeol’s scalp through the shower cap. By the time that his hair had changed significantly it was a dark orange colour.

“I think it’s been on there as long as possible,” Kyungsoo said, examining Chanyeol’s orange hair. “We’d have to bleach it again to get it any lighter.”

“Please, god, no.”

Kyungsoo laughed and nodded.

“Alright, go wash it out then, and dry it. Then we’ll do the red.”

Luckily the dyeing process went much smoother than the bleaching. Chanyeol didn’t complain once. When Kyungsoo stood in front of him assessing the bright-red dye along his hairline Chanyeol looked up at him with his big eyes. Kyungsoo’s attention strayed to Chanyeol’s nose freckle, and he felt a sudden and sharp desire in his gut. He wanted to kiss it.

He dropped his gaze to the floor and took a step back.

“Looks good,” he said quietly. Chanyeol bounced up to examine the red dye from every angle in the mirror.

When the entire process was finally done Chanyeol had bright red hair and a brighter smile.

“You’re seasonal now,” Kyungsoo said with a smile. “You match the leaves.”

When Chanyeol laughed Kyungsoo’s heart lit up like a switchboard. The red suited him well, and Kyungsoo knew he was staring, but he couldn’t help it. He felt such an intense physical pull towards Chanyeol.

Chanyeol was looking down at him with a soft smile, and Kyungsoo reached up to tuck a bit of his freshly-dyed hair behind his ear.

“Your hair’s getting long,” he said, more as a way to direct attention away from the intimate gesture than anything. “I can cut it if you want.”

“I like it this length,” Chanyeol said.

Kyungsoo smiled. “Me too.”

He didn’t really think much after that.

He stood on his toes to press his lips against Chanyeol’s. He felt them buzz where they made contact, thousands of nerve endings reacting to the kiss. It was a perfect, hopeful moment—but it was only a moment.

Chanyeol pulled away with wide eyes.

“I don’t—um—” he began, but faltered. There was a beat of silence.

“Right,” Kyungsoo said. “Okay.”

“Uh, wait—” Chanyeol said, but Kyungsoo had already forced a smile and turned away.

“I think I’m gonna go to bed. Night.”

Kyungsoo managed to make it to his room before he gave into the hurt that his heart was pumping to every inch of his body. His legs buckled under the feeling of it and he collapsed into his bed with tears welling up in his eyes.

In the living room Chanyeol was left standing alone, staring at Kyungsoo’s closed door, and wondering how he had managed to fuck things up so bad.

**

If the universe was trying to reinforce Kyungsoo’s belief that avoiding risks made for a safe and comfortable life, it was working.

Kyungsoo hated fighting with Chanyeol. And they weren’t even _fighting_. But Kyungsoo couldn’t even make eye contact anymore. He was as polite as usual, since it was his nature, but their interactions felt like empty pleasantries, and they just aggravated the pain in his chest that felt like a nettle sting. 

He couldn’t believe he had been foolish enough to _kiss_ Chanyeol. He didn’t even to talk to him like a normal person, he had just skipped the feelings bit and went right for the kissing, and he had ruined everything. He was so embarrassed he felt like he could die. Between intense bouts of regret his heart would ache when he realized, over and over, that he had no chance with Chanyeol anymore. Or, more accurately, he realized that he had never had a chance with Chanyeol.

Kyungsoo missed him. He saw him daily, but he missed talking to him like normal—without Chanyeol’s concerned looks and Kyungsoo’s short responses, and him always hurrying away after some excuse. He missed laughing and he missed feeling the sparks of hope in his chest every time Chanyeol smiled at him.

When the sun went down the weight of the whole situation made it hard for Kyungsoo to breathe. Felicity had taken to curling up against his side and offering her silent comfort, which Kyungsoo appreciated. He cried and gasped as quietly as he could into his blanket. The only sleep he got was troubled. The dark circles under his eyes looked like charcoal smudges in the mirror.

If he could only have had some time alone then he could have learned to force his feelings down so deep that he could go on being Chanyeol’s friend, just like he used to. But he didn’t have any time alone. They lived in the same house. There was no avoiding Chanyeol; he was everywhere.

**

It had been five days of strained conversations, avoidance, and a couple texts from Baekhyun telling Kyungsoo he was being stupid, and saying he should _really_ talk to Chanyeol.

“Not yet. I have to forget about…all these feelings.”

“Kyungsoo, for fuck’s sake, you don’t even know what happened. Please talk to him.”

“Not _yet_.”

Baekhyun clicked his tongue in annoyance before hanging up.

On the fifth day Kyungsoo shouldered the front door open heavily and shuffled inside. The wind was biting. His cheeks were red.

He noticed Chanyeol sitting on the couch—but it didn’t look like he was doing anything at all. Actually, it almost looked like he had been waiting for Kyungsoo to come home. They made eye contact for a brief moment before Kyungsoo made a beeline for his bedroom.

“Kyungsoo, wait, I want to talk!” Chanyeol said, rather louder than necessary considering they were only a few feet away from each other.

Kyungsoo’s heart clenched, but he stopped walking. It was a shame; he was so close to his bedroom door. He squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed a nervous hand over the nape of his neck where his hair was buzzed.

“Yeah, okay.”

When he turned to face Chanyeol the other boy looked upset, and Kyungsoo felt terribly guilty. It was all Kyungsoo’s stupid fault.

“I’m sorry—if I did something wrong,” Chanyeol started slowly.

“You didn’t, it was my fault.”

“No it wasn’t!” Chanyeol protested. “I didn’t mean to...hurt your feelings.”

“Don’t worry about it, okay? Just forget about it.” Kyungsoo was almost begging at this point. It was too embarrassing, too painful.

“No, you don’t get it. I won’t forget about it.” Chanyeol took a deep breath before continuing all at once, the words tumbling out in a wave.

“I always thought that, like, since you live with me and you see me being a weird nerd all the _time_ , and like, I’m always making a mess and I fart around you, I just thought you wouldn’t ever want to date me. Even though I’ve had a crush on you for _years_ , but I just didn’t ever tell you because I didn’t want it to be weird, and I thought you were straight anyway—”

Kyungsoo’s eyes widened. He cut Chanyeol off.

“You—what?”

Chanyeol blinked. “I thought you were straight? Sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed, I know—”

“No, not that,” Kyungsoo rushed to say. “I thought you didn’t see me romantically. At all.”

Chanyeol’s eyebrows furrowed. “Why would you think that?”

Kyungsoo shook his head in disbelief. “You didn’t want me to _kiss you_.”

“That’s not—I meant—I thought you were just humouring me!” Chanyeol said loudly. “Since I’m always saying how nobody wants to kiss me. I thought you were just being a good friend, you know, taking one for the team, right?”

Kyungsoo furrowed his own eyebrows at that. Kissing friends might’ve been par for the course for Baekhyun, but he was surprised Chanyeol would think it was Kyungsoo’s style. It seemed that they had both made assumptions.

Chanyeol continued at a lower volume, almost sheepishly.

“I _couldn’t_ do it if you were just kissing me but you didn’t even like me,” he said, avoiding eye contact. “I would have exploded.”

At that, Kyungsoo laughed for the first time in days. He felt suddenly lightheaded.

“Glad you didn’t explode, at least,” he said softly. Chanyeol’s eyes met Kyungsoo’s again, hesitantly, but hopefully. He laughed too. A sight for sore eyes.

“Chanyeol, I _do_ like you. I just...didn’t notice until recently. I’m an idiot.”

Chanyeol’s jaw dropped comically.

“Oh, my god?” He said in quiet disbelief. “I’m so stupid.”

Kyungsoo snorted. “We’re both stupid.”

The way Chanyeol repeated “We’re _stupid_!” made it sound like some sort of triumphant battle cry, and the two of them both broke down with laughter. Kyungsoo felt so light he might has well have been floating a foot off the ground—high enough to be taller than even Chanyeol. After the laughter petered out there was a moment of quiet where Kyungsoo could hear his heartbeat in his ears.

“So...” he began carefully. “Can you kiss me now?” 

Chanyeol stepped closer and Kyungsoo felt torn between looking away, embarrassed, and looking right into Chanyeol’s eyes. He ended up somewhere in the middle: he stared at Chanyeol’s lips. The same lips that Kyungsoo had been thinking about for weeks.

“Yes, I can,” Chanyeol said quietly.

He brought a hand to Kyungsoo’s face to cup it gently and dragged a thumb across his bottom lip. Kyungsoo’s eyes immediately fell closed. His breath hitched. His heart went mad. And then Chanyeol was leaning down, capturing Kyungsoo’s top lip between his, and Kyungsoo felt satisfaction strong in his chest. _This_ was right. This was how it was supposed to be. He brought his hands to Chanyeol’s waist and curled his fingers against the fabric of his shirt, holding him close, making sure that Chanyeol wasn’t going to let go this time.

**

“There’s only a week until Halloween and we don’t have costumes.”

“I don’t think it’s that big of a deal,” Kyungsoo said.

“You _know_ Baekhyun won’t let us into his house if we’re not in costume. He told everyone that. What can we do with minimum preparation? But something that’s not as boring as a vampire.”

“Hey,” Kyungsoo argued, “vampires are cool.”

Chanyeol huffed.

“Oh!” There was a glint in his eye when he turned to Kyungsoo, which was dangerous. “I made you watch Ouran High School Host Club last year.”

Kyungsoo was apprehensive about the expression on Chanyeol’s face. “Yeah…I liked it.”

“Well,” Chanyeol said with a growing smile. “Ouran school uniforms are simple.”

“What are you suggesting?”

“I’m just saying that you’d look good as Kyoya.”

Kyungsoo sighed. “This is just an excuse for you to dress me up as one of your anime boyfriends.”

Chanyeol had a crush on at least one character in everything they watched. He was always pointing out various boys and smugly declaring them as his boyfriends. Kyungsoo knew it was all in fun and he _wasn’t_ jealous, really. But he did like to remind Chanyeol that only one of his boyfriends was present. And only one of them actually existed.

“It’s not an excuse!” Chanyeol protested. When Kyungsoo shot him a disbelieving look he relented. “Okay, I mean, yeah. It would be hot. Kyoya is hot, you’re hot.”

Kyungsoo couldn’t help the small, proud smile. He wasn’t used to compliments like that. He didn’t need much more convincing.

“Okay. I’ll do it.”

Beyond excited, Chanyeol started googling reference images to plan their costumes. 

“Honestly?” he said as he scrolled through image results. “I’m surprised you liked Ouran and still thought you were straight.”

“Shut _up_ ,” Kyungsoo said playfully, smacking Chanyeol’s thigh.

The weekend before Halloween, in between frantic bouts of studying and reading for class, the two of them scrounged the nearest thrift shop in search of costume supplies. They actually managed to find suit jackets in _almost_ the right shade of blue. Chanyeol picked up a blonde wig from a Halloween store downtown so he could tuck his red hair under it while he was dressed as Tamaki.

Chanyeol threw together makeshift school emblems out of bits of fabric and felt he had lying around; he painstakingly hand sewed them to he and Kyungsoo’s jackets. Kyungsoo knew that Chanyeol was able to sew but he had never seen him in action. He was impressed at the way Chanyeol’s big hands moved so delicately over the fabric.

Every time Chanyeol would turn away from the sewing for a moment Felicity would settle directly on top of the fabric, purring proudly.

“Fart, _please_ ,” Chanyeol would say. He still scratched under her chin before he plucked her off the table and placed her on the floor. She ran to Kyungsoo instead and meowed her complaint.

Finally, the day before Baekhyun’s party, the costumes were finished. Chanyeol and Kyungsoo tried on their full outfits for the first time. Chanyeol’s wig was cheap and a bit silly-looking, but he pulled everything together handsomely—as usual, Kyungsoo thought. Kyungsoo was wearing his real glasses, simple wireframe ones that looked well enough like Kyoya’s. His hair was a bit on the short side, shaved at the sides, but he had the longest parts styled a bit into his face to look artfully messy. 

“I don’t know,” Chanyeol said playfully, looking Kyungsoo’s costume up and down. “You’re the shortest Kyoya I’ve ever seen.”

Kyungsoo gave him a withering look, and Chanyeol laughed.

“You’ve got the expression down, though.”

**

As per usual, Baekhyun’s party was as fun and loud as Baekhyun himself. As the host, he was dressed as Harley Quinn in a pair of short shorts a cropped top. He had actually dyed his hair split pink and blue and gathered it into tiny pigtails. His makeup was skillfully applied. Yixing kept getting flustered when Baekhyun bounced past to talk to guests. Kyungsoo nodded towards Sehun, who was dressed in all black with costume fangs.

 

“See?” he said to Chanyeol. “Vampires are cool.”

“If you think Sehun is cool, sure,” Chanyeol said, smiling.

By the end of the night the alcohol had loosened Kyungsoo up enough to pull Chanyeol in by his tie to press their lips together blatantly. Chanyeol went as red as his hair underneath his wig when their friends slyly told the two of them to get a room.

Baekhyun only lived a few blocks away from their apartment, so Chanyeol and Kyungsoo stumbled home together some time after three in the morning, tugging their jackets tighter around them at the crisp air. Kyungsoo leaned heavily against Chanyeol. He turned his head to bury his face in the warmth of Chanyeol’s arm and relied mostly on Chanyeol steering him home with his hand on Kyungsoo’s shoulder. Kyungsoo was thoroughly contented.

Felicity greeted them when they unlocked the front door by meowing loudly and rubbing her head against Chanyeol’s leg. She demanded that he crouch down and pat her butt.

“Fart...you’re so good,” Chanyeol said in awe as he ran his hand across her back. “You’re a good cat. I love you.”

Kyungsoo tried to hold in his laughter but failed spectacularly, snorting suddenly into his hand. Chanyeol’s amused eyes settled on Kyungsoo.

“Sorry,” Kyungsoo said. “You’re cute.”

“Oh!” Chanyeol said, bowing his head bashfully.

“Get back up here,” Kyungsoo requested, gesturing for Chanyeol to stand. Kyungsoo’s skin felt warm from the alcohol and from Chanyeol’s closeness. He felt warmer still when Chanyeol cupped his face and leaned down to press their lips together. Kyungsoo wrapped his arms around Chanyeol’s neck, tilting his head up to get closer. Kyungsoo felt _too_ warm now, especially with his breathing becoming heavier, and he was surprised to find that his glasses had fogged up.

“Wait,” he said quietly between kisses, reaching up to remove his glasses. Chanyeol made a small surprised noise, and then started laughing.

“Your glasses _fogged up_ from kissing? I can’t believe...that’s so cute.”

“ _Hey_ ,” Kyungsoo protested weakly. He was simultaneously embarrassed and pleased that something so silly could affect Chanyeol like that. He suddenly remembered something Chanyeol had told him once, ages ago, that he had said he’d always wanted to experience. After dropping his glasses onto the nearest surface Kyungsoo decided to play around a bit.

He guided Chanyeol backwards until his back was pressed against the wall beside the door. Chanyeol’s eyes had gone wide. Kyungsoo placed his hand on the wall beside Chanyeol’s head, essentially corralling him against the wall and pressing close. Chanyeol, gone very red and breathless, covered his mouth with his hand almost shyly.

“Oh, my god,” Chanyeol said quietly. “I want to make fun of you for being so tiny, but this is really _hot_.”

Kyungsoo lost it. He collapsed in giggles against Chanyeol’s chest and smacked his side playfully. Chanyeol started laughing too.

“You did this on purpose, didn’t you,” Chanyeol accused lightly. Kyungsoo nodded against his chest. “That’s not fair,” Chanyeol whined. “I don’t have any dirt on you. You don’t talk about that stuff.”

It was Kyungsoo’s turn to be flustered now. His mind automatically supplied him with various fantasies Chanyeol had shared with him in the past, followed by every racy thought that had run through Kyungsoo’s own head in the past few weeks. He felt a sort of head rush.

“You—” Kyungsoo began suddenly before stopping himself. He wondered if he should be revealing this; he realized, though, that Chanyeol would find out sooner rather than later anyway. Kyungsoo was drunk, and warm, and pressed against Chanyeol, and he wanted to say it.

“You drive me fucking crazy when you wear those shorts around the house.”

With the mischievous look on Chanyeol’s face, Kyungsoo was fully aware that he had given Chanyeol all the information he needed to attempt to seduce Kyungsoo. He didn’t mind one bit.

**

Chanyeol had not forgotten about Kyungsoo’s confession. He took every opportunity to tease Kyungsoo about the shorts; wearing them around the house even more often than usual, he seemed to spend a disproportionate amount of his time walking past Kyungsoo. He looked smug when Kyungsoo’s eyes followed his legs.

While Kyungsoo had his head in a book for class, cross-legged on the living room couch, Chanyeol sat down next to him with a smile. He threw his socked feet over the armrest so his bare legs rested in Kyungsoo’s lap.

Kyungsoo knew what he was doing. It was working.

The reading quite forgotten, Kyungsoo sat up until Chanyeol was half in his lap, legs sprawled. He pulled Chanyeol in for a kiss with a gentle hand on his chin. One kiss turned into another, and more, and Kyungsoo ran his hand up Chanyeol’s bare thigh. He dragged his thumb over the softest skin on his inner thigh. Chanyeol sighed and opened his legs wider. Kyungsoo’s face heated as he dipped his fingers past the hem of Chanyeol’s shorts, fingertips grazing his briefs. When Chanyeol pulled away his whole face was pink.

“Wait, it’s hot—” he said. He lips shined.

He pulled his sweater over his head and dropped it on the couch behind him leaving him in just the tiny shorts and a white t-shirt. His red hair was left ruffled. Kyungsoo smiled as he sorted Chanyeol’s hair out a bit, carding his fingers through it. When it was lying relatively flat on Chanyeol’s head Kyungsoo moved his attention to Chanyeol’s newly exposed arm, running his thumb over Chanyeol’s bicep and down to the sensitive skin of his inner arm and wrist. He felt Chanyeol shiver.

With a hand cradling Kyungsoo’s jaw, Chanyeol leaned in for a gentle kiss—but Kyungsoo deepened it. Their lips slid together hot and passionate.. Chanyeol dragged his hands down the length of Kyungsoo’s back and pulled him closer, and closer, until Kyungsoo was sitting in Chanyeol’s lap and licking into his mouth. Chanyeol’s erection pressed against Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo reached between them to palm Chanyeol through his shorts and Chanyeol sighed into their kiss.

Kyungsoo pulled away from the kiss to catch his breath. Chanyeol’s head fell back against the couch. His chest rose and fell rapidly, and his fingertips dug into Kyungsoo’s ass as he pulled him closer, lifting his hips slightly to put pressure against his erection.

Kyungsoo made a sudden, impulsive decision to detangle himself from Chanyeol and drop to his knees on the floor between Chanyeol’s spread legs.

“Kyungsoo.” Chanyeol didn’t have anything else to say. It was just a statement.

“I’ve never done this before,” Kyungsoo said. “Let me know if I do something wrong.”

When Kyungsoo mouthed at the cotton of Chanyeol’s shorts over his erection, Chanyeol _groaned_. Kyungsoo didn’t know what he was doing. His head was buzzing with everything he had ever heard about how to give a blowjob, any porn he had watched that might be helpful.

 _This is Chanyeol_ , he thought. On the one hand, this was Chanyeol, who Kyungsoo liked _so much_ —how many times had he imagined having this privilege? On the other hand, this was _Chanyeol_ , his best friend, the person he felt most comfortable with. There was no use being nervous about intimacy with Chanyeol. He already told Kyungsoo everything.

With a deep breath, Kyungsoo reached into Chanyeol’s underwear and pulled his cock out. He spat into his hand and curled his fingers around the length, stroking languidly. With his mouth, the approach was slower; he started with small, messy kisses before taking Chanyeol in his mouth. Kyungsoo was testing his limits. 

“Hold on, you—ah—you don’t have to push yourself,” Chanyeol suggested. 

Kyungsoo took Chanyeol’s advice. He didn’t push himself, and he used his fist to jerk the base of Chanyeol’s cock while his mouth worked. His knees started to ache against the hardwood. He was thankful, for the first time, for that fucking ugly area rug.

There was something about the weight of Chanyeol in his mouth, the slide of Kyungsoo’s lips, that was deeply satisfying. Kyungsoo followed Chanyeol’s cues and focused on anything that elicited the strongest reaction. He was thrilled at Chanyeol’s noises. The low bass vibration of a groan mixed with breathy moans of Kyungsoo’s name. Kyungsoo’s heart ached with the feeling that Chanyeol was _his_.

“I’m gonna come,” Chanyeol said quietly. Kyungsoo pulled his mouth away to stroke Chanyeol instead, his cock spit-slick. Chanyeol’s head fell back with a muffled thump against the couch. When he climaxed, muscles tensing and hands clenching, cum spilled over Kyungsoo’s fist as he stroked Chanyeol through his orgasm. His eyes fluttered and his pulse raced. He was flushed down to the neckline of his t-shirt. He was beautiful.

While Chanyeol allowed his breath to even out for a moment, his eyes still closed, Kyungsoo looked at the mess on his hand curiously before popping a finger in his mouth to suck it clean. He looked up to find Chanyeol watching him open-mouthed and wide-eyed.

“I want you to come in my mouth next time,” Kyungsoo said simply.

“ _Oh, my god_ ,” was Chanyeol’s only reply before he was a rush of long limbs pulling Kyungsoo back onto the couch. Kyungsoo sighed at the sudden relief on his knees. And then Chanyeol was on him, kissing desperately, not even taking the time to tuck himself back into his shorts. Kyungsoo’s heart rate spiked when Chanyeol pushed him to lie back on the couch and moved down his body, settling at his waist.

There was no preamble; he pulled Kyungsoo’s cock out in a swift motion. Kyungsoo felt the overwhelming urge to hide his face in his hands, but Chanyeol’s mouth was on him and his mind was at a standstill, all of his thoughts hyperfocused on the feeling.

Chanyeol was good at this, Kyungsoo found out. He was really _fucking_ good. The eye contact alone, with Chanyeol’s pretty lips around his cock, was enough to make Kyungsoo realize he wouldn’t last long at all. When Chanyeol sank down quickly and Kyungsoo felt the tip of his cock hit Chanyeol’s throat, Chanyeol’s nose against Kyungsoo’s pubic hair, Kyungsoo frantically tapped at Chanyeol’s shoulder and managed to choke out a warning in a strained voice. Chanyeol took no notice, except to maybe work his tongue even better against the underside of Kyungsoo’s cock. Kyungsoo wound his fingers into Chanyeol’s hair and came hard down his throat. 

The first thing Kyungsoo registered when he came down from the orgasm was Chanyeol’s comforting weight on his torso. Kyungsoo opened his eyes to see Chanyeol wiping his mouth with the back of his hand before resting against his head against Kyungsoo’s chest, snuggling into him.

“You...that was amazing,” Kyungsoo said weakly. Chanyeol smiled at the praise.

“Thank you.”

Chanyeol hummed in a satisfied way when Kyungsoo started running fingers through his hair. Their legs were tangled together. Chanyeol kept adjusting himself so that the most possible contact was being made with Kyungsoo, and they were silent for a few moments. Kyungsoo’s heartbeat was loud in his own ears.

He felt partly embarrassed but mostly determined when he asked if Chanyeol could teach him how to give such good blowjobs. After he laughed himself breathless, Chanyeol agreed.

**

“I’m gonna fucking destroy you.”

“Chanyeol, half your screen is already full.”

“It’s…part of my strategy.”

“Of course, I forgot. Your strategy is to lose.”

Chanyeol whined lightly and Kyungsoo smiled. They were both sitting cross-legged on the living room floor, eyes trained on the screen, engrossed in a game of Tetris Attack. Kyungsoo was playing at a much higher difficulty than Chanyeol just to make it a bit fairer. The pace was punishing but Kyungsoo could handle it easily. Chanyeol’s spotted dog avatar smiled behind the growing pile of blocks on his side of the screen.

“If I win—”

“Oh, here we go,” Kyungsoo said fondly.

“ _If I win_ ,” Chanyeol repeated, “you have to kiss me.”

Kyungsoo laughed and agreed to the terms. “And if _I_ win?”

Chanyeol paused thoughtfully. Then he smiled. “If I win, you have to kiss me. If you win, you _get_ to kiss me.”

Kyungsoo was so busy laughing that he was helpless against the blocks that immediately filled up his screen. A single word in blue letters appeared across his board: LOSE.

“Oh my god!!” Chanyeol yelled, dropping his controller, jumping up from the floor and punching a triumphant fist in the air. “ _I beat you_!”

“That’s not fair, you distracted me!”

“Of course it’s fair! Don’t be a sore loser!”

Kyungsoo grudgingly admitted to the loss but continued to mutter about fairness.

“I’m waiting for my prize,” Chanyeol said smugly, smiling so wide that his eyes scrunched up.  
If Kyungsoo couldn’t win the game he could at least enjoy doling out the prize. He scooted closer to Chanyeol and ran his thumb along his jaw before pressing a peck on the apple of his cheek, followed by another right beside his right eye. Chanyeol giggled.

“That’s not good enough.”

“You’re so picky,” Kyungsoo teased, but he gladly continued.

He gingerly climbed into Chanyeol’s lap, dropping onto his crossed legs and wrapping his arms around Chanyeol’s neck. While Kyungsoo pressed their foreheads together Chanyeol’s hands settled on Kyungsoo’s ass.

“This is better,” Chanyeol said.

Kyungsoo leaned in the final inch to close the gap between their lips. They kissed until the cheerful music of Tetris Attack in the background became too grating.

**

Kyungsoo was right: dating Chanyeol was mostly the same as being his best friend, only with more kissing.

They slept in Kyungsoo’s bed with felicity curled up somewhere at their feet. Chanyeol snuggled into Kyungsoo’s back when he was facing the opposite direction; Kyungsoo slung an arm over Chanyeol’s waist when the positions were switched. Chanyeol loved to rest his head on Kyungsoo’s chest and listen to his quiet heartbeat while Kyungsoo ran his fingers through Chanyeol’s hair. More often than not felicity would attempt to claim Kyungsoo’s chest as her own by trying to sit on Chanyeol’s head.

“Fart,” Chanyeol would whine to the cat. “That’s not fair.” Kyungsoo would laugh.

“It’s okay, come up here instead.” Kyungsoo would gesture to the space beside his head.

Chanyeol even convinced Kyungsoo to bathe with him sometimes through a combination of bribing him with bath bombs and being very, very cute.

“I got this one for you,” he said excitedly one day, pulling a deep green bath bomb out of a small bag. “It’s supposed to smell like a forest. You’ll like it.”

Kyungsoo smiled in spite of himself (and Chanyeol was right, of course—he _did_ like the scent). He admitted that the baths were nice with the changing weather. The chill in the air also caused Chanyeol to constantly crave soup, and Kyungsoo cooked for him like he always had, but with a bit of added incentive; Chanyeol would hang around while Kyungsoo cooked, talking about his day and offering to help. Kyungsoo took him up on his offers sometimes but he was well aware that Chanyeol could be more harm than good in the kitchen if left unattended.

Chanyeol pressed against Kyungsoo’s back while he cooked, sometimes, resting his chin on Kyungsoo’s head. He wiggled his cold fingers under Kyungsoo’s sweater against his warm sides.  
“Watch those fingers,” Kyungsoo said gently. “I’ve got a knife here.”

They worked out a morning routine of compromises. Since Kyungsoo had early classes, Chanyeol slept in later; Kyungsoo would press a kiss onto his forehead in the mornings as he made to get out of bed. If Chanyeol stirred, he would smile, but he wouldn’t actually get up until Kyungsoo was about to leave for class. Then he would shuffle into the kitchen in his underwear in search of breakfast. He would duck his head to kiss Kyungsoo’s cheek.

“Kiss me, please,” Kyungsoo requested quietly one morning when Chanyeol wandered into the room and pulled Kyungsoo close to his body with a hand on his waist.

“Nope. You’ve got coffee breath,” Chanyeol said with a teasing smile. Kyungsoo frowned.

“Ah, really...”

Chanyeol wasn’t able to hold out very long at all. He leaned down to kiss Kyungsoo, muttering “I was just kidding” in between kisses. Kyungsoo smiled against Chanyeol’s lips. He would have stayed much longer in that position, but he really had to go, or else he’d be late for class.

Baekhyun loudly approved of Chanyeol and Kyungsoo’s relationship. He had taken to calling their apartment “mom and dad’s house,” which Kyungsoo hated with every bone is his body. The rest of the group got a kick out of it, though. He was fighting a losing battle.

When Kyungsoo rested his hand on Chanyeol’s waist, leaning in to get a better look at what Chanyeol was trying to show him on his phone, Baekhyun smiled proudly. 

“Can I help you?” Kyungsoo directed at Baekhyun without taking his eyes off Chanyeol’s phone.

“I’m just happy that you guys are happy.”

“Cheesy,” Kyungsoo said, waving off Baekhyun’s comment. He kept his hand on Chanyeol’s waist, though. Chanyeol smiled sweetly down at him.

Baekhyun let out a dramatic sigh.

“I guess I can’t refer to you as our resident straight friend anymore,” he said in a faux-tragic tone. Kyungsoo’s eyes snapped up to meet his.

“You were calling me that?” Kyungsoo asked with a dangerously low voice. “To _who_?”

“Oh, you know. Everyone.”

“It’s true,” Yixing piped up cheerfully. “I’ve heard him say it.”

Kyungsoo’s hand left Chanyeol’s waist then, but only because it was far too busy smacking Baekhyun.

**Author's Note:**

> IF YOU were there for that #exclusive momet when i left one of my notes in the body of the fic, sorry and thank you, i'm very embarrassed.
> 
> I just wanted to write about fall. I wanted to get this bad boy out before Halloween, actually, but I was so busy with school and I had some problems with this one. still not sure how I feel about it. Anyway, it was the first snow a couple days ago so I Just missed that autumnal atmosphere didn't I.
> 
> I’m working on like 5 other fics so at Christmas...keep an eye out.
> 
> thanks oly for helping me pick Chanyeol’s anime boy crush. Thanks sun for talking through this one with me. Thanks ash for suggesting the names felicity/fart for the cat and for betaing as always!
> 
> Thank you for reading!!


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